FORGET SUCCESS: Pursue a meaningful, balanced and healthy lifestyle. Part Two

Your chief aim should be to use self-discipline primarily in all five basic components of your life. Namely;

1. Your health

Your health is the most important aspect of your life and you should therefore give it first priority. Pray for your health, pray for your safety, pray for your appetite, and pray for good quality sleep. Health is like a keystone habit that enables you to make sound decision about other aspects of your life. Many research studies single out health as the primary interest for adults.

To be generally healthy, you need to strike the right balance between your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual wellness. Avoid excess, do everything in moderation.

(a) Physically, your diet and exercises determine the fitness and your general well-being. Opt for exercises, which involve a lot of aerobic activities and your diet should be mostly Mediterranean (Sea food, fruit and veggies, nuts, protein, wholegrain food, etc). For as much as you need to exercise to stay active and feel vital, your body needs proper rest to recharge and recover. Good quality sleeps, 7+ hours daily, as recommended by Benjamin Hardy, Author of Willpower Doesn’t work, does the trick. Other authors such as Eric Barker — author of (Barking up the wrong tree) and Brian Tracey recommends 8 hours of sleep. However, it’s worth to note that it is not the quantity of sleep that is important, but quality.

(b) Mentally, “Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking” Marcus Aurelius. I also agree with Dale Carnegie when he says, “Everybody in the world is seeking happiness — and there is one sure way to find it. That is by controlling your thoughts. Happiness doesn’t depend on outward conditions. It depends on inner conditions.” According to Buddha, “we are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make our worlds.”

© Emotionally, practices such as meditation and yoga help the mind to stay calm and resilient in the face of adversity. “Yoga and meditation are where my soul, body and mind harmoniously combine in a state of bliss, gratitude and appreciation for something greater and bigger than myself.” — Lauren Williamson.

According to Robin S. Sharma, “Solitude and quiet connect you to your creative source and release the limitless intelligence of the universe. This inner quietness brings with it a wealth of benefits including a deep sense of well-being, inner peace, and boundless energy. You will even sleep better and enjoy a reward feeling of balance in your day-to-day activities.”

(d) Spiritually, nothing will help you as much as prayer, reading and pray-reading your bible. We talk to God through prayer, and we listen to Him through pray-reading and meditation. “All people who are happy have God within them” — Paulo Coelho, author of The Alchemist.

2. Your Time

The law of forced efficiency states that “There is never enough time to do everything, but there is always enough time to do the most important things”. “I don’t have time” used to be my mantra whenever a great idea for self-improvement crossed my mind. It was until I realized that none of us have time but we can always make time to do the things that gives us a sense of fulfillment and joy when we pursue them.

Time wasted can never be restored, which means we must never let time pass while doing things that do not serve our purpose or are not important to us. Therefore, we have to discipline ourselves to channel all our energies and time on our greatest priorities. “The essence of time management is for you is to discipline yourself to set clear priorities and then stick to those priorities.” — Brian Tracey

3. Your family

The proverb “Blood is thicker than water” means that family relationships and loyalties are the strongest and most important ones. Family is everything; wherever you find that connection, be it within your immediate family or planetary family. Prioritize your family and connections. Never be consumed with your work in the expense of quality time with your family. The company or organization you work for will never be on your bedside all the time when you are dead sick in hospital even if they pay you a seven-figure salary. Most often than not, family (blood or not) tends to be there when the going is tough and they are the faces that bid us farewell on our deathbed if we strengthen that connection”.

Use communication to build mutual trust and respect in your family for lifelong and healthy relationship. Communication is key to keep the family together and united by a strong bond of unfeigned love. If you stay far away from your family, make it a point to visit them every weekend. If you work abroad, keep the communication open and discipline yourself to contact them every single day if possible and use every opportunity during holidays or whenever you get leave to see them. Stay in touch, nothing is more important than that.

4. Your career

Most people cannot clearly distinguish between a job, a career and calling. Undoubtedly, the minority of those who understand the difference are the happiest and most fulfilled individuals who live their lives with minimal amounts of stress. Amy Werzesniewski of Yale University made a clear distinction as follows:

“Job — Is a way to pay your bills

Career — A path towards increasing better work

Calling — It’s work that is an important part of your life and vital to your identity”

The majority of people are content with having a job despite hating those jobs in the first place. “As long as the bills are paid, everything is fine”, they say. Taking every opportunity available to learn using the advantages in their careers to improve themselves is never a priority to them. They don’t bother to make time to think about their dreams, what they ever wanted to do with their live and most sadly, they don’t do anything or take action to follow their callings. Yet they marvel at the agony of their lives despite having a job.

The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts. In other words, your mindset determines your happiness and the quality of your life. Make a decision to utilize every opportunity available in your company or organization to upgrade your skills, which are in line with your calling and empower yourself so you may follow passion with ease and grace. “Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen” — Ralph Waldo Emerson. You can do it all without having to quit your job, it’s just a matter of prioritizing and managing your time effectively.

5. Your relationships

Last, but not least on the list of five basic components of enhancing a meaningful and balanced lifestyle that will give you long lasting happiness and fulfillment you desire and deserve, is the relationships you have with your friends and co-workers or any person you have crossed paths with. The principal rule, which is absolutely necessary to your emotional and mental health is, the ability to differentiate between transactional and transformational relationships. Resolve today to invest all your time and energy on the transformational relationships. The kind of relationships that transform you to be a better version of yourself so you can also improve not only those close or around you but the world you live in.

On the other hand, transactional relationships are those where, for instance, if a person offers you some kind of help or do you a favor, they expect you or even worse, demand that you return the favor or pay them. This kind of relationship drains you emotionally and leave you feeling unsatisfied or unfulfilled. Someone may say, “I always do this and that for you” or “Remember when you were down and out, I was there for you”, so you must do me a favor”. This is emotional blackmail and surely, people like that are manipulative. It is better to avoid such people at all costs. Among other things that contribute to happiness, is to give without expecting anything in return. However, that principle does not exist in transactional relationship.

Discipline yourself to keep in touch with your friends at least once a week and make plans to see them in person on some weekends. Technology has made life simple nowadays if we use it effectively and it allows us communicate via several platforms. If you can’t call, send a text, if you can’t text, send an email. If you can’t send an email, use any social platform such as Facebook, Twitter or WhatsApp to let your friends know that you think and care about them. The goal is never to be a stranger.

In conclusion, you can achieve a long-lasting happiness by finding meaning in your dreams when you strike a balance through self-discipline and do the following seven life-changing things.

1. Believing in yourself,

2. Living a healthy lifestyle with a sense of gratitude and contribution

3. Living a life of faith

4. Empowering yourself through continuous and never-ending improvement through reading and experimentation

5. Managing your time

6. Following your dreams or passion

7. Keeping in touch with your family and friends

Finally, thanks to Victor Frankl for his wisdom in realizing that “Success, like happiness, cannot be pursued, it must ensue.” Even though success must not be your primary focus, it is part of the deal package for those who gravitate toward endeavors that form an important part of their lives and vital to their identity. Remember, success is a by-product for those who dare to follow their dreams and work tirelessly and confidently for their attainment.